Fulfillment – 3 Tips To Be Fully Alive

To me, the act of fulfillment is in the journey and the adventures we have along the way.

In the six years I have been coaching I have yet to have a client come to me and say “I want to be Fulfilled”. Yet I suspect,  just as I discovered, that this is in fact what people are searching for.  We want to feel truly alive, living in the now, dancing in the moment and to have purpose and meaning in our lives.

Being fulfilled is not the same as being happy or feeling good, rather, it’s more a case of  fulfillment leading you to being happy. In essence being fullfilled is to be fully alive.

Here are 3 tips to help you to experience being fully alive and being fulfilled:

1. Be the Captain Of Your Own Ship

According to a study carried out by psychologists at the University of Missouri-Columbia,money and influence were the least reasons given for being happy.  The psychologists interviewed 700 students in the U.S. and Korea about what were their most satisfying experiences and what they discovered was:

“Attaining popularity or money or influence and luxury is not what makes people the happiest and is at the bottom of the list of psychological needs”

At the top of the list of needs are:

• autonomy
• feeling that your activities are self-chosen and self-endorsed
• being true to yourself

When we are  self-directed and living our lives ‘on purpose’ we are fulfilled. We are contributing and making a difference in a way that brings us satisfaction.  Getting clear about how you want to live your life, what impact you want to make and how you want to express your gifts and talents can be a powerful guide and driver toward what you really want from your life and work.  It’s like you have made a conscious decision, you are at choice. It feels very powerful and exciting. People who are on purpose shine with an unmistakable light.

Living your life on purpose does not mean that you have to be self sacrificing.  I believe that you will make more of a positive difference if you first of all think about what brings you joy.  What activities do you enjoy doing?  What are your interests?

What do you want to do that would bring you joy?  What thrills you?  What will it take for you to be fully alive?

2. Live By Your Values

Being fulfilled and living by your own personal values is considered to be a radical act. It is radical because not many people actually do this.  Living by your values may mean that you rock the boat.  You may experience some discomfort, if, as a result of a decision you make, other people are upset with you. You might decide to follow your heart’s desire and as a result you may not earn as much money as you used to. You might have to go through the stress and discomfort of learning something new in order to find a new job that you love.  Yet doing what is right for you, living by our own values and not someone else’s will lead you to being fulfilled.

Here are some questions to help you to discover some of your values:

1. When were you so absorped that you didn’t notice the passing of time? What were you doing? How did you feel?

2. What could you not live without? And why? (examples of  some values are: love, family life, money, fun, peace of mind, respect)

3. What are two things you must have at work in order to be happy? (examples of some values are: good salary? respect? recognition? personal achievement? ethical company? interesting activities? good training?)

It’s usual for people to have different sets of values, it’s what makes you as a person. Be true to yourself. You’ll be much happier if you do.

Once you get a good idea about what you value in your life you need to ask yourself if that value is being honoured in your life today.  So if you had a strong value around  say, ‘creativity’ and you had little creative input at work or in your personal life then ask yourself: “what will it take to bring that value alive for me?”

Our values are not set in stone and can change as we grow, so check in with yourself every now and again.

3. Don’t give up on your goals

Recent research shows that fulfillment and the resulting happiness can be achieved through struggle.  According to  new research published online in November 2009 in the Journal of Happiness Studies:

“People who work hard at improving a skill or ability, such as mastering a math problem or learning to drive, may experience stress in the moment, but experience greater happiness on a daily basis and longer term, the study suggests.”

Ryan Howell, assistant professor of psychology at San Francisco State University said:  “People often give up their goals because they are stressful, but we found that there is benefit at the end of the day from learning to do something well. And what’s striking is that you don’t have to reach your goal to see the benefits to your happiness and well-being.”

Feeling that you are effective in your activities can bring about a sense of fulfillment.

Do you have any goals that you would like to revisit?

Tagged as: being alive, being fulfilled, Fulfillment, Happiness, Happy